Caldwell – Accidental Renovation

Caldwell
Accidental Renovation

In the many levels and subgenres of hardcore and metal, there are an increasingly large number of bands coupling various form of yelling or screaming with melodic singing. Out of the hundreds of bands throwing these ideas around, maybe 2 percent do it well. Caldwell is not one of these bands.

Accidental Renovation is a complex album; however, it’s not complex in the ways you would think of. These guys don’t layer up intricate guitar parts, they don’t have a jazzy rhythm section, the lyrics and themes aren’t poetry. Nope, these guys pile on the layers of suck. This album is terrible on so many levels it boggles the mind.

Lets start with the music. In general, think Across Five Aprils as a reference point. They have quite a few melodic riffs and harmonies, but they also try to do some tough-guy chugga chugga stuff and infuse some hardcore elements as well. This genre is so played out and dead it is ridiculous.

The vocals. Ohhh man, the vocals. Take your typical throaty metalcore scream and couple it with flat, tone-deaf singing and you get the basic idea. Here and there various levels of yelling, screaming, etc. are mixed in, but it is mostly just metalcore screaming and bad singing.

And now the lyrics. This is the one that really gets me. “This room is dark, it has no doors. Would I even need the key if you’d let me in. How did it start where did it begin. Remember me, those where your words. Your last breathe I ever heard. You flew into the sky that day.” Wow. That is some really deep shit. Not to mention that it should be breath not “breathe” and were not “where.” Whether you want to consider those gramatical errors or spelling errors, the point is they can’t even put their shitty lyrics on paper in a fashion that makes any sense.

This is the type of record that makes me lose faith in the world. I know it is just a CD, but to me it seems like another sign of the appocalypse.