Wolf Eyes’ music is a churning puke bucket of ultra-violent noise hellbent on pushing the aural threshold of pain to its absolute limit. I fucking love it!!! I was so stoked to get this record in my review packet that I almost shit my pants. Now before I go any further, let me inform you in case you missed the point, but Wolf Eyes is a noise band. If you don’t like noise, do not buy this record, end of story. Everyone else, listen close for I will relay to you some nice stories concerning Wolf Eyes’ new record Burned Mind.
Story #1: I used this record to thwart telephone solicitors. Every single day for the past few months, some solicitor has been calling my house trying to get me to join some fantastic new deal on something. I have tried repeatedly to let these individuals know that I am in no way interested in whatever product or service they are offering. Never the less, they keep calling. Last week, after arguing with some dude who would not shut up for what seemed like 10 minutes, I simply placed the Wolf Eyes Burned Mind CD into my stereo and cranked the volume to 11 while holding the phone right next to the speaker. When I finally put the phone back to my ear a few minutes later, all I heard was a dial tone. Success!!! So there is one story: even if you hate this record, it still has useful qualities.
Story #2: I have read several reviews in other “magazines” where the reviewer basically said that output on Wolf Eyes’ albums wasn’t music. I believe one reviewer went so far as to give the record a 0 out of 10 and say something to the effect of “burgeoning noise scene my ass.” Obviously someone sent these reviewers the wrong record to review. I would like to say to the rest of you that enjoy noise records and do consider it a viable form of art that this is the single best noise record I have heard not only this year but in a long long time. Wolf Eyes has been around since the mid 90s and has put out hundreds of releases, many of them extremely limited and available on CD-R or cassette only. The band deserves a little more respect than being written off as non-music.
Story #3: There is also another use for the Wolf Eyes record that I would like to share with you. These are dark times indeed for the great dictator just got re-elected last week. I suggest that we sneak past security guards in the palace and tie daddy’s little warmongering son to a chair and force him to listen to Burned Mind at painfully high decibels until he agrees to resign. I honestly don’t think he would last more than five minutes. I would imagine this record to be his personal version of hell, whereas mine would be something more akin to the swill that was Toby Keith’s last record or entire catalog for that matter.
Now you have three great reasons to snag a copy of Wolf Eyes’ Burned Mind. As if you needed it, I still have yet another reason for you to get this record. This is actually the most serious and best reason of all. Burned Mind is a phenomenal noise record. Opening track “Dead in a Boat” segues into the pulverizing “Stabbed in the Face.” Listening to this song is kind of like watching that scene in fight club where Brad Pitt gets the shit kicked out of him by the owner of the club they have been using to host the fights, especially when he turns around and spits a mouthful of his own blood all over “Lou.” I mean, look at the cover art, it says it all: a bird eating at a rotten human skull.
The rest of the record is equally as vicious, alternating between moments of severe digital volcano lava on “Village Oblivia” to terrifying instances of calm on “Ancient Delay.” Yes by the time you actually reach the last track, “Black Vomit,” if you make it that far, your eye sockets will no doubt be spewing their own bloody mess all over the living room floor as Wolf Eyes annhilates your tender eardrums.