Various Artists – Hello, We are the Militia Group, Vol. 1

Various Artists
Hello, We are the Militia Group, Vol. 1

I cannot believe the stuff that gets passed off as “emo” these days. This sampler for the Militia Group record label is better proof than anything that the genre is either completely dead or almost dead. There is not a single band on here that could pass for quality. Brandtson is the best band here, and that was always my least favorite band on the Deep Elm roster. The band doesn’t even do an original song either, but a poor cover of The Police’s “King of Pain.” The other bands are so terribly generic that it took real patience and tolerance to sit through all of the whiny vocals and boring pop-punk guitar riffs.

The compilation starts off with the worst song first, preparing the listener for the rest of what is to come. Big Collapse’s “Pull out the Guts” was so bad that at first I thought that it must be a joke. After the song was over I was ready to breathe a sigh of relief, but then The Beautiful Mistake’s “Fragile Fingers” started up. The version of this song that is here is an acoustic version, so I would imagine that it is even more watered down than the one that got chosen for the album. Copeland’s “Walking Downtown” does a nice job of ripping off Jimmy Eat World on the album Clarity. Sadly, this is so much better than anything else on this compilation that I wanted to cry and not in an emo way but in a “how did it come to this” way.

The next three songs were so generic that I thought that it was the same band before I looked at the track listing. The Rocket Summer, Anadivine, and The Lyndsay Diaries not only share terrible names in common but terrible music as well. It is completely laughable that there is not one band that stands out on this whole compilation as being worthwhile. Blueprint Car Crash was supposed to be more like The Mars Volta or At the Drive-In, but after listening to the song “What Smiles Behind Her Running Mascara,” it became apparent to me that the guys in that band just didn’t “get” what either of those great bands were about, period. The backward vocals at the beginning of this song are even cheesier than the actual songs by the other bands featured on this disc.

Do I really need to go on? By this point, you the reader, have either decided that you hate me, you agree with me, or you don’t care at all about the fact that people try to pass this crap off on kids with limited amounts of cash to buy records. It is unacceptable that bands like Good Charlotte and Simple Plan are better than any indie bands. Maybe if I were in the seventh grade these lyrics might seem better, but I have seen better and this is just bad. I couldn’t believe that people actually bought into Dashboard Confessional. If that is your idea of a good time then by all means rush out and pick this up. I’ll be using this as a frisbee.